Driving around Chicago today, I've been re-encountering the problem of finding parking in this city. On the one hand, nearly every street has street parking available, even downtown. On the other hand, there is a byzantine set of rules as to when and where you can and can't park, which makes parking a sort of chess game and blood sport at the same time.
I recall, during my first two years in Chicago, how I coveted the parking spot directly in front of my apartment building. It was on a busy street, so I usually had to park 2 or 3 blocks away.
I coveted a good parking spot so much, I eventually started using sexual terminology to discuss it, which produced conversations such as this one between me and my friend Erika:
"Do you see that spot right in front of my building? That is a hot spot."
"Ooooh, yeah! That spot is fucking sexy."
"That spot is a HOT SLUT."
This, my friends, is what we have come to in Chicago. Please send parking.